A moment to reflect & is anyone reading this?

Another week has flown by.  In some ways it feels like it was a quick week; but it wasn’t so quick that I didn’t have time to reflect on a few things.   As I was preparing to write this blog I decided I truly wanted to provide my readers some educational or insightful words.  But I couldn’t. Instead, as a new writer/blogger, I felt compelled to share some of what goes on in my head and see if any of you can relate or have a similar story to share.

Off the top; is anyone reading this?  That’s the question I most want to ask.  I suppose it’s not uncommon for a new blogger to feel like she’s shouting into the wind, right? Okay I’ll just forge on ahead.  I’ll assume that folks are reading my blog and are choosing to be silent. Yes, that’s it! I have a readership that is silently supporting me.  Good…whew, glad I got that straight!

So what was I reflecting about you might ask?  Well, for one, I have a writer’s retreat coming up in April.  The retreat is for one entire week in a slightly remote large log home, with other writers who are there for just one thing – to write.  This will be my third year attending this particular retreat. I’ve always felt flattered to be invited and treated it as somewhat of a ‘luxury’ to be both invited and to attend. I should be excited right?

Well sort of, except I don’t play much of an active role with this writing group. They meet each Monday daytime for ‘write in’s’ and hold monthly evening meetings on the first Tuesday of the month; neither of which I attend routinely.  I have a job that requires me to work on most Mondays, and I find evening meetings not to be my cup of tea, particularly in the winter months when it’s dark and the weather is nasty.   Let’s be honest; my eyesight especially at night is not good, so I avoid driving after dark at all costs.   The writing group does however have a Facebook page so I do get notifications about what is going on.  But on the whole, I’m generally a silent and non-participatory member.

Should this bother me, I ask myself.  ‘Kind of’, would be my answer.  Most people who know me would probably classify me as a ‘joiner’.  I don’t usually sit to the side quietly in any group.  Eventually I will come forward and offer to volunteer, organize or do something.  However, in this group I’ve never really felt comfortable to step forward, and I’m not really sure why that is?   This is where the self-reflection comes in.  Is it because writers are known to be introverts and in this group of writers the introvert in me comes out?  Or is it because I don’t feel like I truly belong – a serious case of the ‘imposter syndrome’ kicking in?   I’m not sure.  It’s not like every member is a well-known, bestselling author. Although, we have quite a few and, I must confess, that is a teeny bit intimidating.  Still, there are members who have yet to publish, just like me, so I don’t think that’s it.

Anyhow, that’s the kind of week I had.  I got some edits done on my current book and I managed a couple of ‘tweets’, I’m so not twitter savvy.   I sent out invites to one hundred and forty six people to attend an upcoming workshop I’m co-hosting,  and I enjoyed a couple of spectacular trail rides on my horses.  Of course, I also listened to my favourite podcasts; one of which is co-hosted by a member of the writers group I was speaking about.  If you want to listen to a funny, engaging, informative, yet entertaining podcast, check out bestsellerexperiment.

Now for this week’s inspirational quote:

 “Writing is not life, but I think that sometimes it can be a way back to life

Stephen King

Have a great week!

Tamara

2 thoughts on “A moment to reflect & is anyone reading this?

  1. Hey Tam, very nicely said! I can definitely relate. Sometimes I can bring it and make the conversations and connections, and then sometimes I feel like a fraud and wonder if people think that about me. But at the end of the day, if I follow my heart and my passion for writing, that is what people will notice, and I will eventually realize that being true to myself is the key. Keep the posts coming! I’ll be here to read them. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

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